On leaving

It is official. The tickets are booked, and my Botswana end date draws near.

Why back to Canada? Well, it’s basically this: I need to sort my life out which includes a way not to be poor.

But I am not totally ready to close the door on Botswana. Why? Well, there is no plan beyond the 15th May when I land in Canada – I will be flat out broke, living in my parent’s basement, searching for the next thing. Funny? On the outside not much has changed since September 2009.

The mixture of emotions right now is starting to make me crazy. Sure, I am happy – hell, I finally made a decision about the next steps, one that I have been waffling about for months. But this isn’t the kind of happy that makes me want to jump around in glee.

I am realising how hard it is to shut down a life.

And the woman that goes home to Canada is so different to the one who stepped foot off that plane more than 3 and a half years ago.

Leaving isn’t something I take lightly.

But today, right now, I choose gratitude with a hint of mourning, and a dash of excitement for what surely will be an even greater chapter in life.

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6 comments

  1. Ron Wall

    Hi, Sheila. Ron Wall here, formerly of Calgary, now in St Louis. You cared for our Jack Russell, Tommy one summer while we were on vacation. I’ve been following your journey off and on over the past couple of years. You might want to consider compiling all your blog posts into book form. i think there are opportunities for you to tell your story in a variety of ways that would find a receptive audience. Your interest in yoga is one that would certainly strike a chord. If you like, i would be happy to offer you any assistance you need in editing, etc. Safe travels.

    • Sheila

      no absolutely! I so remember you 🙂 i love that idea, and yes, I would gladly take much heeded advice. thanks so much! and thanks for following the journey –

      • Ron Wall

        let me know when you’re back and we can chat. i think you could do something that ties in your yoga with a company like Lululemon. you fit their market perfectly and you have something they want to hear. keep in touch.

      • Sheila

        cool – i love that. definitely will do for sure! also, it’s good to start thinking…

  2. Sylvia

    I know that sense of relief that comes with finally making a difficult decision. It’s a strange mix of emotions for sure. I know that anyone who talks to you for more than a minute will realize you are not the same person who was living in her parents basement before lol. I can’t wait to see what your next chapter holds and I am here if you want to talk it out with someone 🙂 Love you!

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