when you find it…

I decided the other day that I must start telling my friends what I like about them. I started with Flo, one of my German colleagues here, and shared that I really like his enthusiasm. Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable (being too excited makes me think you might be hiding something…), but nevertheless, “like”.

His response was: “You are constructively opinionated.”

And then the other day I was called a raging feminist (this time by a Canadian)… I think he was joking but I fear not.

I guess both are true, to an extent. As of late,  I am passionate about human rights, about women being treated equally and have even been known to make counter theological points just for the heck of it.

Today, though I was thinking about love and relationships. I have my mental list all ready for what I am looking for, indeed the deal breakers have been marked heavily. But I guess what it comes down to is this… I desire love. And no matter my passion for equality, women’s rights and whatever else I feel the need to argue that hour…I do want love and marriage (and don’t worry – preferably in the same person). And really the two are not opposite thoughts and processes. There are countless examples of things that “wives are supposed to do” that make me cringe. But deep down I am fully aware that I will want to serve someone who loves me in return.

This poem just made me want love. Love that surpasses all expectations.

 When you find a man
 Who transforms
 Every part of you
 Into poetry,
 Who makes each one of your hairs
 Into a poem,
 When you find a man,
 As I am
 Of bathing and adorning you
 With poetry,
 I will beg you
 To follow him without hesitation,
 It is not important
 That you belong to me or him
 But that you belong to poetry.  

 When You  Find a Man by Nizar  Qabbani.  Translation  by Bassam K. Frangieh and Clementina R. Brown 


And maybe I will find it in one person, one day. Or maybe I won’t. But the kicker is… this raging feminist is starting to put her guard down.


  1. Quinn Barreth

    Don’t show Jen that poem. Seriously. I don’t measure up in enough categories already! 😉

    Its a funny thing about love too, that when you find it, the “requirements” and “issues” tend to fade away into the background. So don’t worry too hard about getting the preconceptions right (outside of the foundational stuff).

    • Sheila

      Good sage advice. And I promise to never speak of the poem to Jen. Unless she asks, then it will be my moral obligation to. Just sayin.

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